This fledgling blog hit a milestone this past week. Scary Mommy, whom many of you know and laugh with daily, commented on a post. My post. And to see the comment come through felt like I’d sipped from the Holy Grail. If I never attract any more people to this site, at least I can tell my grandchildren, who will all likely be blogging as fetuses on iWombs by then, that Scary Mommy once posted on my site.
And I’m forced to anticipate a conversation that is 30 years off in the future because telling those newborn babies will be more rewarding than conversing present day with G about this. It felt a little like talking to a Chinese tourist who stopped listening to the directions they asked you for. As is, I always tread a little carefully in discussing my blog with G since he believes I am truly plotting to kill him and has wire-tapped my phones and installed high def spy cameras in every room. But this really hit new lows:
E: So I had a BIG thing happen today.
G: You got a raise?
E: Umm, no. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Part-time people don’t really get raises.
G: Says you…what’s your news?
E: Scary Mommy, who is a big deal in the blog world, posted on my site today. And she seemed to think it was funny.
G: Why is she scary?
E: She’s not scary. It’s figurative to describe the underbelly of mothering.
G: Should I call you Scary Erin then?
E: What is wrong with you? This is important to me. This woman is a figurehead. She’s like a celebrity in the blogging world.
G: In your Dungeons & Dragons world?
E: Shut up. I’m not some 40 year old sleeping on a cot in my parent’s basement, playing Nintendo.
G: I haven’t heard of her.
E: That doesn’t mean anything. You’re not the demographic. And if you read the Times, you’d know. And you probably can’t tell me the name of my blog.
G: ‘I could kill him.’
E: Wrong. You’re a terd.
G: Liken her to a celebrity that I’d know then.
E: That’s a challenge since you didn’t even realize you were peeing next to Robert DeNiro in a urinal once.
G: That violates manly bathroom code! You do not look at your neighbor.
E: You do if it’s DeNiro. You only know athlete comparisons, and I only know the names of two athletes, Derek Jeter and A Rod, and I’m not going to compare her to those barbarians. She’s known for writing words and they’re famous for hitting a ball with a piece of wood.
G: Then pick an actress I’d know.
E: You don’t know any.
G: I knew Rebecca De Mornay and you didn’t.
E: I told you not to mention her name to me again [see this post]. Okay….hmmm….since you only know the cast of Friends…she’s like Courtney Cox.
G: She’s good lookin’.
E: That’s not the point.
G: Wait, which one was that? The dark haired or the blonde?
E: No, the blonde one is Jennifer Aniston.
G: Why can’t she be like Jennifer Aniston? I like blondes.
E: Jennifer Aniston is known around the world since she does a lot of movies and magazine covers. And she married Brad Pitt. If you had to compare to bloggers, Jennifer would probably be Heather Armstrong.
G: Is that the one whose site means poop?
E: Oh my god, dooce means to get fired, not poop.
G: I beg to differ. Ask any dude.
E: Anyway, if Dooce were Jennifer Aniston, then Scary Mommy is Courtney Cox.
G: I think Courtney Cox is more famous than Jennifer Aniston.
E: Oh, do tell, Ryan Seacrest…
G: Because she did movies that I know.
E: Like Ace Ventura?
G: Of course. Classic.
E: This is 4 minutes of my life I can never reclaim.
G: What? I said, ‘good job.’
E: No, you didn’t. You just had to lead me down this winding trail of irritation.
G: Good job. I’m glad Scary Mommy posted on your site. I’m sure you’ll really rock it at Comic-Con next year.
E: Oh my god…blogging is not like reading comics.
G: Yeah, sure.
E: I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
G: Okay. What’s for dinner?
E: For you, microwave popcorn.